One of the most well-known commandments in the Bible is to “Honor your father and your mother.” This commandment is part of the Ten Commandments given by God to Moses on Mount Sinai. It is found in the Old Testament book of Exodus 20:12 and repeated in the New Testament by Jesus and the Apostle Paul.
But what exactly does it mean to honor your parents? Why is it so important? And how can Christians today apply this commandment in daily life? This article will explore these questions with clarity, using simple language and Bible teaching.
The Commandment in Context
The Ten Commandments
The command to honor parents is the fifth commandment in the Ten Commandments. These commandments are God’s laws given to His people to live by.
- Exodus 20:12 (NIV) says: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
This shows that honoring parents is connected to a blessing: long life and a good life in the land God provides.
Repeated in Deuteronomy
The command is repeated in Deuteronomy 5:16, where Moses reminds the Israelites to keep God’s laws as they prepare to enter the Promised Land.
What Does It Mean to Honor?
Definition of Honor
To honor means to respect, value, and hold in high regard. It is about treating someone with love, kindness, and respect.
Honor Is More Than Obedience
Honoring your parents does not only mean obeying them. Obedience is part of honoring, especially when you are young. But honor goes deeper—it involves respect for their role and sacrifices.
- You can obey without respect, but true honor includes respect and appreciation.
Honor Is a Heart Attitude
The Bible teaches that honor is from the heart. It is an attitude, not just an action.
- In Romans 12:10, Paul writes, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
This shows honor is about putting others first, including parents.
Why Does God Command Us to Honor Our Parents?
Parents Represent God’s Authority
God placed parents in authority over children to teach, protect, and guide them. Honoring parents means respecting God’s order.
- In Ephesians 6:1-3, Paul reminds children, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise—‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’”
Parents Sacrifice for Their Children
Parents give life, provide for needs, and teach values. Honoring them recognizes their hard work and sacrifices.
It Builds Strong Families and Societies
When children honor parents, families grow stronger. Society also benefits because families are the building blocks of communities.
How Can We Honor Our Parents?
1. Show Respect in Words and Actions
Respect means speaking kindly and not using harsh words. It also means listening and following reasonable guidance.
- Proverbs 1:8 says, “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”
2. Obey Your Parents
Children are called to obey parents while they live at home. This obedience is part of showing honor.
- Ephesians 6:1 emphasizes obedience “in the Lord,” meaning obey when it is right and godly.
3. Care for Them in Old Age
Honoring parents does not stop when children grow up. When parents grow old or become weak, children should care for them.
- 1 Timothy 5:4 teaches, “If a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and especially for their own household.”
4. Forgive and Show Grace
Parents are not perfect. Sometimes, honoring means forgiving mistakes and showing grace.
- Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.”
5. Pray for Your Parents
Honoring parents includes praying for their health, happiness, and spiritual growth.
- Prayer is a powerful way to show love and respect.
What if Parents Are Unloving or Unjust?
Biblical Wisdom for Difficult Relationships
The Bible acknowledges that not all parents are perfect or loving. Some may even be harmful.
- In such cases, honor does not mean allowing abuse or harm.
- Honor means respecting their role but also seeking God’s protection and wisdom.
Jesus’ Teaching
Jesus Himself had challenging family moments but still showed respect to His mother (John 19:26-27).
Seeking Forgiveness and Healing
Forgiving parents who have hurt us is part of honoring God and ourselves. Healing may take time and prayer.
The Promise Attached to the Commandment
Long Life and Blessing
God promises that those who honor their parents will have a long life and good things on the earth (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:3).
- This promise is not just physical but spiritual as well.
A Foundation for Obedience to God
Honoring parents helps children learn to obey God’s commands fully.
- It is the first commandment with a promise, showing its importance.
Examples of Honoring Parents in the Bible
Joseph Honors His Father Jacob
Joseph cared for his father during famine and obeyed his wishes (Genesis 47:12).
Ruth Honors Her Mother-in-Law Naomi
Ruth showed loyalty and respect to Naomi by staying with her and caring for her (Ruth 1:16-17).
Jesus Honors His Mother Mary
Even at the cross, Jesus showed concern for His mother by entrusting her to John’s care (John 19:26-27).
Honor in a Christian Household Today
Teaching Children to Honor Parents
Parents should teach children about honor by example and instruction.
Parents Honoring Children
Honoring is mutual. Parents should honor and love their children, showing respect and care.
- Ephesians 6:4 advises, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Creating a Culture of Respect
A Christian home that values honor builds love, peace, and joy.
Practical Tips to Honor Your Parents
Listen Actively
Give full attention when your parents speak.
Help Without Being Asked
Offer help around the house or with their needs.
Speak Kindly
Avoid complaining or criticizing harshly.
Celebrate Their Lives
Remember birthdays and special days with love.
Share Your Faith
Talk about God’s love together.
Conclusion
The Bible’s command to “Honor your mother and father” is a timeless principle that shows God’s care for family and society. It involves respect, obedience, care, forgiveness, and prayer. Honoring parents is not always easy, especially in difficult relationships, but God promises blessings to those who obey.
For Christians, honoring parents is part of living a life that pleases God. It reflects our love for Him and strengthens our families. By following this commandment, we grow in love, humility, and grace—values that bless our lives and the lives of others.
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